Not sure where to begin? That’s okay. Here’s what most couples want to know.
Reaching out for couples therapy takes courage. Most people sit with the question for longer than they’d like to admit — wondering whether things are “bad enough,” whether therapy could actually help, or whether starting this conversation will make things harder before they get better.
These questions are worth asking. Below are honest answers.
Q: We’re not in crisis. Is therapy still worth it?
Yes — and in some ways, this is the ideal time to come. Couples who do this work before things deteriorate have a real advantage: there’s less damage to repair, and more capacity to take risks and try new things. Some of the most meaningful work I do is with couples who simply want to build something more — more closeness, more security, more of the sweetness they know is possible.
Q: We’ve tried therapy before and it didn’t help. Why would this be different?
Most couples therapy is structured around the 50-minute hour — which often means you spend half the session warming up and the other half trying to close a loop before time runs out. PACT-informed work is different. We focus on what’s happening between you in real time, not just what you report happened at home. The work is experiential and embodied, not primarily conversational. Many couples who’ve spent years in therapy without lasting change find that this approach moves differently.
That said, I’ll ask you about what you’ve tried before. Understanding what worked, what didn’t, and what felt missing helps me know where we can go together.
Q: What actually happens in a session?
I ask couples to face each other — not me. You are the experts on each other; I am there to observe, slow things down, and help you see what’s happening between you in the moments that matter. I pay attention to your face, your voice, your body, and the subtle ways your nervous systems respond to each other. We work with those moments directly, not just through conversation about them.
Sessions are longer than traditional therapy — typically two to three hours — because meaningful depth takes time. An intensive format runs five hours a day over three consecutive days.
Q: I’m worried therapy will just be a place for my partner to complain about me.
I understand why that fear exists — especially if previous therapy felt imbalanced. In the work I do, the relationship is my client, not either individual. I am not here to validate one partner’s narrative at the expense of the other. I’m watching both of you, all the time, with equal attention. What we’re building together is a relationship where both people feel seen, safe, and cared for — not a room where one person wins.
Q: What if we’re not sure we want to stay together?
That’s an honest place to be, and you’re welcome here. Some couples come in already knowing they want to stay and build something stronger. Others arrive uncertain — not sure if what’s broken can be repaired, or whether the relationship still serves both people. Part of the work, for couples in that space, is getting clear together. You’ll leave with more honesty about where you are than you arrived with — whatever you decide.
Q: My partner is reluctant. Is it worth coming if only one of us is fully on board?
Ambivalence is human, and it rarely means a partner doesn’t care. Many of the most meaningful breakthroughs I’ve witnessed have happened with a partner who showed up unsure and left having felt something they couldn’t have predicted. I’d encourage you to come. If your partner is willing to show up, that is enough to begin.
Q: Can we work together if there’s been trauma in our relationship or in one partner’s history?
Yes. In fact, individual trauma histories are almost always part of the story in couples work. The patterns we bring into our most intimate relationships are shaped by our nervous systems, our childhoods, and our earliest experiences of closeness and safety. My training in Somatic Experiencing and EMDR means we can work with what each partner carries — gently, carefully, at a pace that honors the complexity of that history — without losing sight of the relationship as the focus.
Q: Do you work with LGBTQ+ couples?
Yes, fully and with great care. Love, conflict, disconnection, and the longing for deep partnership aren’t specific to any one kind of relationship. All couples are welcome here.
Q: Do you take insurance?
I am credentialed with BCBS/Wellmark for traditional psychotherapy sessions. If using insurance, sessions follow the standard 60-minute structure. Extended sessions, intensives, and nature-based work are private pay. I’m happy to provide superbills for clients who wish to seek out-of-network reimbursement.
Q: How do I know if I’m ready to reach out?
If you’re reading this page, you’re probably ready. The fact that you’re here, asking these questions, means something in you already knows that your relationship deserves more attention than it’s getting. Reaching out doesn’t commit you to anything. It just opens a conversation.